Hooray for Big Food (Boo for you)!

Photo from Choirbell's flickr stream

People, come on! Stop eating those Banquet chicken and turkey pot pies right out of the package! Don't you know that that stuff isn't ready-to-eat? Don't you have a frantically, pedantically detailed knowledge of the wattage and inner workings of your microwave? No? Then it must be your fault if you started projectile vomiting last time you crammed one of those things into your gullet.

At least, that's the line that ConAgra is taking. Check out these excerpts from a press release they sent out in response to salmonella poisoning from their chicken and turkey pot pies (emphasis is mine):

ConAgra Foods today announced that it was contacted by state health officials regarding Banquet Turkey and Chicken Pot Pies. In cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA), ConAgra Foods is advising consumers to not eat these products while the USDA and ConAgra Foods look into these concerns...The company believes the issue is likely related to consumer undercooking of the product...

The company reminds consumers that these products are not ready-to-eat, and must always be thoroughly cooked as instructed on the packages. The cooking instructions for these products are specifically designed to eliminate the presence of common pathogens found in many uncooked products. Microwave cooking times vary, depending on the wattage of the microwave, so carefully following all instructions is important.

Huh? It's not like the meat is raw in that pie when you heat it up. It's a convenience food! That means that theoretically, it's pre-cooked in some plant somewhere so you don't have to take your kitchen thermometer out and make sure it's cooked to 165 degrees inside. I mean, I just know that if you're eating a frozen pot pie that costs 75 cents, you're definitely going to have a thermometer on hand to bulletproof yourself from food poisoning in case your $553 Panasonic NN-C994S Genius Prestige 1100-Watt microwave craps out on you.